“And you’re listening to that song, and that drive with the people who you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.”

- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I have always loved that one scene in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. You know, the one with the back of the car, Sam and “Heroes” by David Bowie. Or, if you remember, the one with the back of the car, Charlie and “Heroes” by David Bowie. Actually, I like the second one better, because you know at this point in the movie how much the character has gone through. You know how much he has grown, and that the freedom he feels is hard fought. It’s that one that makes me cry, that gives me hope, that makes me a little sad.

A few weeks ago I turned 29, the pivotal last year of my 20s.

Being in your 20s/30s is a weird time. It’s a transitional period when suddenly you’re expected to know everything that you want to do with your years, whether that’s in terms of career, getting a house, getting married, or having children. But it’s also supposed to be the best time of your life, with the free abandon to enjoy it as much as you can.

The struggle is real… when you’re the sad girl whose dad died

Season 4 of Mindy Kaling’s hit Netflix teen comedy Never Have I Ever hit our screens today, for the final time. Over the last four seasons we have watched high schooler Devi navigate crushes, hookups, friendships and studies as she makes her way towards graduation and the ending of the show. Never Have I Ever is funny, outlandish, and oozes with Kaling’s notorious wit and charm.

But as a 29-year-old, the thing that resonates with me most about the show is the unbelievably accurate depiction of what it’s like to lose a parent when you’re a teenager.

Hi, I’m Ally, and welcome to This Modern Struggle Magazine.

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that you also feel like you don’t know what you’re doing with your life.