5 Things I Learned After Turning 30

The big 30…

When I was in my 20s, I used to dislike the idea of reaching 30. I always associated being 30 with being old (I am sorry to anyone I have hurt by saying this!) 

However, now that I am in my 30s, as much as I wish I were in my 20s, I do think there is a lot of power in this new decade of my life. When I was 28-29 years old, I used to have conversations with people who were already in their 30s about how I should approach this new phase of my life. 

A few things I was told are that the 30s are the most beautiful years of a woman’s life: she is confident, unapologetic, and daring.

Here are five lessons I have learned after I turned 30:

1. People come and go and you learn to care less

It is very normal to have a large circle of friends during our 20s: people we meet during university, and others we encounter in different workplaces. Some relationships end after finishing university or changing workplaces, while others conclude by choice. I have met great people during my 20s and always wished for long-term friendships. However, some of these friendships ended by the choice of one party rather than the other, sometimes without any explanation. Even though my younger self would have been upset about a friendship ending, now that I am in my 30s, I care less about who stays or who doesn't. It makes me less sad that someone is not there. In the end, it was never about me. 

My lesson learned: whoever is meant to be part of your life will do anything to give you time and cherish your relationship.

     2. Always be a student of life

I used to believe that learning concluded within the confines of a classroom. Once school was over, the notion of continuous learning seemed unnecessary. However, I was mistaken. Learning extends far beyond textbooks and classrooms; it takes on various forms—fueled by the passions we pursue, the books we read, the places we explore, and the lessons derived from life experiences. To adopt a mindset conducive to lifelong learning, it's essential to view each day as an opportunity to learn and to set a daily goal for acquiring something new, regardless of the circumstances.

     3. Put yourself first

In our 20s, we are taught to pursue an education, find a job, and get married. We often rush into things, aiming to achieve our goals and make our parents proud. Unfortunately, we frequently neglect our passions and instead strive to fulfill someone else's desires. We forget that we are individuals with our own goals and ambitions. It dawns on us that we reach a point in our lives where we are serving the needs of others more than our own. Consequently, our focus shifts, and we begin to prioritize ourselves. We no longer feel guilty about pursuing our ambitions and doing whatever we want. This journey of adulthood teaches us about boundaries and the importance of saying no. We come to understand that saying no is not selfish; it's about taking care of ourselves first before we can effectively care for others, and there's nothing wrong with that. 

As I like to say, you can't spread happiness if you are not happy yourself.

     4. Life is about building experiences

When we are in our 20s, we often focus on being cool, having the latest iPhone, or buying lavish clothes. However, as you enter your 30s, you come to realize that life is about building experiences and cherishing beautiful moments. You begin to appreciate the value of someone making time for you, relishing the little walks with a friend, and savoring the dinner your spouse makes for you. With age, the importance of material possessions, like buying the most expensive Chanel bag, diminishes. Instead, you'd prefer to use that same money to travel, give back to a community, or invest in yourself. The understanding deepens that life holds much more significance beyond its materialistic aspects.

5. Fall in love with life

Life is a rollercoaster of emotions. We experience moments of happiness and sadness, periods of hardships, and intervals of sporadic joy. As one of my ex-managers once told me, moments of difficulty are temporary; they are there to teach us a lesson.

Although we sometimes wish things were different, some chapters of our lives, no matter how ugly, serve a purpose that helps us grow and move on. Life is a beautiful process. Every moment should be enjoyed and lived fully. If you want to do something, don't wait for tomorrow if you can do it now. Life is meant to be lived in the present.

In summary, the transition from my 20s to my 30s has been enlightening. Embracing the transient nature of relationships, valuing continuous learning, prioritizing self-care, treasuring experiences over possessions, and falling in love with life have become guiding principles. The 30s, rather than a symbol of aging, signify a celebration of self-assurance, unapologetic self-love, and a deeper appreciation for life's extraordinary journey.

Embrace every age of your life.

Written by Urmi Hossain
Writer

Urmi Hossain is Bengali by blood and Italian by birth. She works in the financial services industry in Canada, where she is currently residing. She is a self-published author, blogger, speaker, polyglot, and mentor.

Her first book is: Discovering your identity, a rebirth from interracial struggle.

She is an advocate of women's empowerment and very passionate about teaching and mentoring other girls and women.

She is part of the organization called Women In Leadership for the Victoria Chapter in Canada as the social media lead
She enjoys being a promoter of self-investing and personal development.
In her free time, she enjoys reading books and boxing.

Discover Urmi’s book here, connect with her on LinkedIn, visit her YouTube channel, and read her blog.