Mom Life Struggles - Part 1 of 41946 - Overcoming Mom Guilt to Take Care of Yourself

Many believe that as soon as you have children, that’s it, you have to give up all the fun things that you enjoyed doing before.

I adore my family, friends and having lots of social time. However, when these little humans come along who want and need you at every grasping moment, it can feel like the days of being social are over.

What people forget is that being away from your children is super important, not only for them to grow and become more independent, but also for your own mental health! Taking time off doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing absolutely everything you can to be there for your children, it can actually lead to you being a better parent because you feel relaxed and refreshed.

Being a mom is the most difficult but rewarding feeling. However, you cannot forget about your own well-being; you need time to relax, to breathe, to think and to let go! Balance is so important for the upkeep of your social life; you can absolutely work your butt off to keep your children happy and healthy, while also allowing yourself to feel worthy of some ‘time-off’. 

Momming is hard work, and as with any job, you deserve a break and some time for yourself. It’s true that guilt may overtake your soul, but trust me when I say, when you’re dancing on those tables, laughing with your friends, or eating a meal in peace, the guilt will subside and you will remember how important you are too! 

So, how do you overcome the mom guilt to take time for yourself?

You may not realise it, but you have people around you who love and adore you! Your partner, parents and friends will all be more than happy to help if you let them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or take the offers for support. One day you will be able to do the same for them, granting them the freedom they are allowing you so that they can experience the release that you more than likely need right now. 

It can be a struggle to switch off the mom mode and focus on yourself, but by taking moments just for you, you can discover yourself again outside of being a mom.

Find ways to start small - this could be taking a quiet bath with candles, doing a skincare routine, getting your hair or nails done, drawing a picture, or writing things down. All of these acts are small yet important in making you feel beautiful, free and relaxed. Sometimes you just need a little reboot to charge that battery! 

You can gradually find what is important to your own self care and prioritise this. Even if it’s not realistic that you will be able to do these things most days or even most weeks, make sure you plan in time for that nail appointment or lock the bathroom door for an hour to soak in the tub every once in a while.

These steps will help you move on to bigger things, such as having a meal out with your partner or meeting friends for drinks, and even having a night away without the children.

Please know that whilst I am writing this I am completely aware that everyone’s situation is different and this may not be as easy for some people as others. Whether this is due to an unsupportive partner or family, problems within those areas or just straight up crippling feelings of guilt or worth. But you should try your absolute hardest to give yourself credit for all that you achieve; from the smallest daily tasks to larger milestones, be aware of your successes and reward yourself!

As a mom of two young children, this is something that I am trying to remind myself too. 

From me to the other mom’s out there - remember that you’ve got this and you go girl! 

If you are struggling in any way, you can also reach out for support from mental health charities and helplines, or book an appointment with your GP.

Mind - Call 0208 215 2243

Samaritans - Call 116 123, which is free and doesn’t show up on the phone bill.
Or email jo@samaritans.org 

MumsAid - Call 07758 763908or email info@mums-aid.org 
(Please note that this is not a crisis service)

Written by Becky Maybury
Writer

Hi, my name is Becky! 

 I’m new to writing and am still not convinced it’s the greatest, however I’d like to think that my writing will be extremely down to earth and relatable so I hope to bring some weird and wonderful content to make us all feel a little more normal in this crazy world. Everyone’s situation is different and that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, just means we can learn and grow! 

 When I’m not writing you will find me running around after my 2 gorgeous children, spending time with my friends or creating some form of arty project. Fun fact, I have a masters in Fine Art and work freelance at The New Art Gallery Walsall!